Retarded stuff

Ok firstly, I just deleted the whole post so im gonna have to write it out again.

anyways I was complaining about how conrad seems so much more condescending and like showing so much attitude nowadays. Hes like being so pai kia-ish, and I think hes totally learning it from Ding. I mean, he's like stopped trying to be nice and stuff, and is instead trying to stir up trouble; hes like ridiculing teachers, and showing so much attitude. He's even like talking back to me when i talk to him, like in Lit, he's like trying to be as argumentative as possible whenever i ask questions or stuff. I didn't know whether I should have put all of this here the first time i wrote this, but i guess im ok with that now. Even in maths, hes like so great and so smart now, that hes forgotten that he was one of us. I mean, he acts as if we're all some stupid kids who don't know how to do math, or even Lit... and I feel that thats not imitating Christ at all, and I think that should be the number one priority in our lives.

Not that I'm so great at obeying God and stuff like that, but I feel that hes totally not trying anymore, and hes just living life as if there was no God at all.

Johno's another one; hes recently taken to breaking rules almost blatantly, and hes a councillor.  I mean, I expected a councillor to at least be an upholder of the school rules, but johno's like always late for stuff, or he goes out of school early and gets others to follow, or pulls open hostel gates when there's a perfectly good card to tap open, or even when he could have like waited for someone to help him open the door... then he scolds and snaps at me for telling him that we could have just waited or something like that. And both of them are like ignoring me, or holding me in contempt. Its like, sometimes im talking to them, and some idiot comes in and interrupts, and they just treat me as if im invisible, and they carry on talking like i just evaporated or something...

It's really irritating; i mean i would expect at least someone like johno, who's supposedly like so guai and stuff to at least try to obey rules and be nice and stuff like that, but its like they dont care about stuff anymore, even me. I'm feeling rather sad now so...

Ive decided to like pray for them every night for a whole seven days; like it has to be continuous for the week, and if i forget or dont do it one day, ill just restart the counting until i get seven days in a row. Im gonna pray for them to remember what it's like to imitate christ; I know its sounds like im really high and mighty, but im really trying not to, i just want them to not be so irritatingly... gahh. I know it now sonds like im sounding noble and stuff (and now im sounding like im trying to be humble... this is stupid), but seriously, i just want them to be better. I cant stand seeing any of my friends like suffering or floundering or just in a bad situation. I know i probably need more guidance and help from God than them (im probably gonna need help even getting the week of prayer done), but ill rather that they get it first.

One thing im very sure about is im going to CF tomorrow, come hell or high water. im serious. and i dont think ill be going up to mrs. wong's room with johno and conrad; it'll be so... I dont know, i guess i dont feel the same with them anymore. I'll probably go up with Mel.

I really dont noe what to do anymore; really sad about these things, but I'm just hoping God reads blogs, and can be bothered to actually answer my prayers. I'm gonna need all the help i can get, and all the support i can get. I guess im just feeling really pissed, cause the hostel has announced that there may be a fire drill, and it might be held outside office hours, like maybe at 3am!! Which is totally crazy, we dont get enough sleep already, why would they want to do this to us, and whats's more even if they ring it at 3am, im not going to go down if i can help it. It's ridiculous.

Another thing is the retarded cluster outing; we're going out to watch 10000 BC, during the weekends... stupid right. not only is it a great waste of time, it also serves no purpose at all. Haizz... i really dont know anymore, but the hostel people are getting really irritating.

anyways I tink I'm going to stop here, cause its really late, and im kinda pissed at having to think and write all this again, at top speed and stuff.... I still think the original copy was so much better, but hey, maybe its divine intervention, maybe God's trying to say that my old copy was just too emotional, or maybe i shouldn't use the auto save every minute... cause thats what i did, and just before the minute was up i pressed ctrl-a and some random letters accidentally, and so deleted everything... smart right hahas...

anyways, ill sign off here. dont even know who im going to let read this blog... hahas