Sometimes it's great to be home

With the request for air-con approved (mostly by my di's pleading) and said di to sleep beside me tonight... Just great. Theo hopes everyday could be like this one. Unfortunately, no. The universe loves to screw up our lives.

It's like 11 pm now, and I'm finally home, after stealing back my keyboard from our dear Raddy... Just went out for dinner, then went to collect things from hostel and car-red straight home. Ate about 3/4 of a bar of chocolate on the way back. Shared it with didi... Feeling high now XD. And kinda sleepy too.

Wish I could have pazza. There's pizza at the hostel tonight, it's some celebration thing. Went to ask a few people to kope one pizza and freeze it for me. *Hopes everyone of them will steal a pizza then tomorrow evening I can have like 4 pizzas to eat XD*

I wonder what are they celebrating. There's even a movie, but it's Lord of the Rings, so I'm not missing anything at all... Watched every one of the trilogy like 3 times over, I probably know the whole thing by heart. Almost.

ODAC was killer on the hands today. I almost got like 2 big blisters. Lucky it didn't get so far as that. Mikel (was it Mikel?) made us do 100m of wheelbarrowing, then 100m of some weird chain thingie where we had to all lie down in a row and the last person had to make a bridge over the 2nd last person and go down the line on hands and feet... And he almost had us do leopard crawls or some kind of crawl for another 100m, only we shot him down cause we could barely feel our hands and some of us were bleeding. So in the end we just ran to the track and then there was no time left cause I had to go off. I hope they didn't torture themselves too much... Or torture Johno... Or Eugene.  O.o

Anyways sleep beckons. My di's already crawling onto the bed and curling up AND TAKING UP ALL THE SPACE!!!. AND THE BLANKET!!!! So I'm gonna go now. Hahas

How many ways are there to say pissed...

And how many other ways are there to say sad...

I was extremely bored in Chem AP prep today, so spent time writing on Lennard's hand. Wrote some weird stuff, and a poem that I crapped out while thinking of words to rhyme with Len.

Anyways it's kinda bo liao, but I guess I can put it here:

On the Depravity of the World

Len

Has his pen

In ten men

Who pay yen.

While Ben

In his den

Achieves Zen

Watching Len.

 

Told you it's lame. We were really bored in Chem, and when Theo get's bored... Well these sort of things happen.

I realised I haven't blogged alot, and only now do I see my tagboard filling up... I post one post on BaoZi's blog and look what happens. Suddenly I have people tagging me (again) and I have 44 view here according to the tracker thing. Nice -.-

I am going to surprise myself by talking about Maple. WOW. I'm lvl 107 (WOW-er) and I'm thinking of starting to play a private server. Yeah. I can't believe myself.

Anyways there are more important things happening right now, and people just don't understand that. Sometimes it feels like they don't even bother. I don't really care anymore. I think I've totally given up on Chemistry AP and everything else school related, everytime I look at the AP preps I just feel that I should be enjoying myself more. I seriously don't know what's happening; I keep thinking of just enjoying my last few days here or stuff... I'm starting to have really weird dreams about not living life to the fullest, and I seem to keep thinking about enjoying my life and friends more. I feel like I'm dying. Like seriously. It's not a bad feeling, and sometime I get really emo over it, but most of the time I get this detached feeling, especially about school and the programs that everyone seems to force on us. And I don't know; maybe God's saying I'll like die on the Melbourne trip or something... It's quite seriously weird.

I don't feel bad or anything, but I do think I can enjoy myself abit more... That's partly one of the reasons why I brought an xbox over, sheesh. I can't believe I actually did that, but anyways... And no one wants to play with me now. It always seems to be that way... I seem to start trends, cause now everyone's playing Halo on the com... but I don't get to be in them. And then there's nothing I can do to stop everyone from doing that. It's so completely retarded.

My keyboard has been kidnapped by a certain Mr Koh, by the way... Can't type properly. Waiting for keyboard to return to me. COME BACK HERE!! D:

Saw someone I hate. Hmph. Going to bed straight after roll call. Gah...

There's no comfort anywhere

At all. And no one understands at all... I feel like totally giving up; for everything this world has to offer, it's ten times better somewhere else. I'm not happy at all here; people here just don't seem to be human enough to understand how I feel. I'm the only one still sane here, and everyone is just too busy or really can't be bothered to do or say anything that helps. Everyone thinks only about themselves; not about the people around them. Why did God create a world and let it get as bad as this... People say the worst things possible and think that it's all right, and they can't be bothered how anyone else is feeling...at all.

It's a great thing the world is going to end soon. Come Lord Jesus. And do it quickly. The world is waiting.

I haven't blogged... in a long time XD

Yupps, I haven't blogged in a long time... Haha.

It's been ok I guess, but now we're in the midst of exams, which I'm so totally going to fail... Cause I haven't started studying and my lit and English papers are well over already. And I'm supposed to be studying and Johno's next to me making me feel like a veryvery bad boy.... For not studying... he's so evil la. mug for chemistry somemore. hmph.

Kor's not talking to me or something he's so busy mugging for stuff like maths or chem or bio... who knows la, I go inside he just scold me only, make me feel sad... Everyone like too busy with exams to care about me liao. Sad, no? My own kor lehh... lols. But I guess he thinks he's setting a good example or something. Still... I wish he had more time for me...

Listening to very random assortment of songs from my library. Slacking all the while. I'm seriously gonna fail the two exams tomorrow. Math and Chem. Then Chinese on Monday, free on Tuesday, Bio on Wednesday, and I'm free for another month or so... until organic chemistry catches up with me, and AP chem. But that's later. Much later.

When You Believe lyrics
Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood
Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

[Chorus:]
There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

[Chorus]

They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way clear through the rain
A small, but still, resilient voice
Says help is very near

[Chorus]

One song that brought me through the darkness, and was my light when all other lights went out.

Now I'm bored again. At least study time's over. HAHA.

I can't stand hostel

It's a sign how dysfunctional our society has become when you need to waste your life to sign up to use a gym. Which isn't even very well stocked or something.

Seriously, and what's more there's the stupidest gym leader or whatever. This hostel is screwed; every leadership position here is taken up by really retarded and inflexible people. All we did was walk up to him and ask him if this was the gym orientation. And that bloody idiot dissed us off and told us to come back after saying: "Have you looked at what you're supposed to do?" Bloody hell. What's wrong with explaining that you need to come with a towel and in P.E attire? And that rule was only implemented today, it obviously wasn't there when Ryan or whoever else went for their orientation. What's more it was hidden behind the giant notice board which, by the way, is used for some useless score tallying for games. Who would have even seen it in the first place? And that idiot can come with that supercilious tone and try to lecture us as if we did something wrong. Seriously these sort of people don't deserve to be in any leadership position whatsoever.

He could have simply told us that we're supposed to bring along P.E stuff and our forms... No one before us had to do that, and there definitely wasn't any announcement to say otherwise. But nooo...these people think we're psychic and we're supposed to bow down to their wishes and grovel to their wishy-washy demands.

The only problem is, the hostel has a rowing machine. Which I'm desperate to use. And what's more, our batch was the one who asked for the gym. I don't see why we suddenly have some completely useless outsider who has no affiliation to the school to boss us around and be lording it with a high-and-mighty air. If it was anyone else I would be all right with it, like Derek Foo or Mr Wong, but I think putting some of these "act only" people in charge of anything will spell disaster. Just because they're older definitely doesn't mean that they're wiser than us, and should be in charge. I mean for people like Anna or something it's natural she should be in charge, but they seem to put really horrible people in leadership stuff just to spite us. Stupid people who find fault miniscule differences in the night's signature, or just can't see the reason behind the rules. Then they follow rules to the letter and can't make small compromises when they're needed, and moan about how bad we are at following instructions when we don't even know about the newest change in them.

These people just have a god-dysfunctional personality and they think we're gonna be like little kids who're just going to stand by and watch their life being destroyed. I'm sick of this whole fiasco, and one day I just hope that people like that just go live their own life somewhere else. I hate people who just see fit to place them selves over others and not care about others, then abuse their power just because they have claim to it. Shouldn't those people leading us be one of us? They don't even know who we are; we're the ones who live in the bloody school. You're just a tenant that stays in our school, and I don't see why I have to bow and scrape to your ever-changing wishes, which are, more often than not, totally unreasonable.

So there.

Btw... Forgot a song...

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years

Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need

Oh, can you see what I see
They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh

Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...

Bye Alain...

We say goodbye to a dear friend today... Like probably forever... To some random place in Sydney. For study. And he's probably gonna come back like only once a year.

It was like I left again; something which I should never have done at all. Now I know how bad it feels to abandon anyone... I can't understand how I managed to do that in Sec2... How could I hurt all my friends like this... And all the girls cried and that set me off again... retarded, but I guess I've been bottling so much emotion inside me so far that it just had to come out somehow, and this was the best way to do it I guess...

And there wasn't like much fanfare or something, we spent some time at the food court and like chitchat, then I wanted to eat but had a shock when I saw the prices... Like 7 bucks or something for a plate of chicken rice. Seriously overpriced. So we dilly-dallied until around 7pm, then we walked Alain up to the departure gate... which started everyone taking a slew of photos and giving him gifts and stuff like that. Then we cried and stuff then Boon gave him a shirt which didn't have my pic on it, zzz I guess serves me right for not going out with them at all... stupid school.

I really can't say much more... We just stood there like idiots watching him wave and go off through immigration, then he disappeared. Forever. And we just stood there and kept crying and watching until Hui Ting said that she forgot to ask him to buy duty-free alcohol for her... then everyone laughed and cried at the same time...

I miss them so much. And the only time I see them is when someone decides to leave forever. It's so retarded. I feel really bad. And I sincerely hope that sponge and Daryl and Hoyin never do that to me too... Or just die on my watch, cause that's even worse too. O.o

I gotta go now... before I start crying again. And like flooding the room... These are the times when you really need a friend, and I thank God that there's sponge and Johno in my life... Yeah thanks God! Hahas...