GOLD

It's nice to finally get something you were worrying so much about to go your way. I passed the 2.4 run with 11.55 minutes, which gives me a C at age 17. Which means I get a GOLD! And since I've gotten a gold 3 years in a row, I get a SUPER GOLD! Lucky lucky me. ZZZ.

I spent some time in the Physics Demo lab yesterday. It's so fun la. And I forgot to return the papers to the lab tech. Hahas sorry YH. lol. They were labelling all the little toys with little stickers, and we couldn't find some of them. Like we didn't know what was what for some of them.

I paid 10 bucks to watch the concert on Friday. Aaron owes me alot of drinks now. And I get to miss astro too. That's gotta be good for attendance. And I have ODAC tmr, for doing sets for those late forms people. *sighs. And there's that weird P5 people coming on Saturday, and we've got to brainwash them into joining the school. And I've got to be in school by 730am IN FORMAL UNIFORM on SATURDAY to brainwash them. Until 1230. Then Ill head on down to Toa Payoh Safra, which I don't know where it is, and go rock-climbing. At least that will be fun. LOL.

I'm panicking about NS medical, and anyone who says anything about it will be strangled by me. Seriously. Please don't. It's scary enough. Hmm.

I thank God for that Gold though. 5 seconds away, and He pulled me through. Whoo. *Noticed that God is one letter away from Gold **filed that thought under "important but not particularly urgent. check back in a year's time."

Procrastination

I'm so obviously doing this now because I have English Jian Bao to do. Hahahas. Like 3 or 4 more, I'm not very sure how many we're supposed to have in total. Then there's Lit too. Haizz. Super lazy to do anything la.

I've been watching Wild at Heart on Hallmark lately, and I've decided I want exactly that life. It's so cool, getting to find animals and stuff. Maybe I won't run a hotel, but I think it'll be really fun to be able to just live there, and see that amazing sunrises and sunsets, and all the great animals there. And I'll run a zoo or some sort of animal shelter thing, just to be able to keep animals. It's so super cool la. I don't think I'll be a vet though; maybe I'll be some kind of teacher and pick up some kind of conservationist or ecologist or zoologist skills. Enough to let me play around with animals XD.

Anyways, I had so many things to sign today; Astro camp on 17th June, ODAC rock-climbing next Saturday... I got invited to the S Rajaratnam Lecture. I don't know what it's going to be like exactly, but it's on the 9th of April, Thursday, and theres a reception afterwards, so I guess it'll be fun. And we'll get to see Mr Lee Kuan Yew talk. So, at the very least it's bound to be interesting. Now just got to figure out how to get there. And what to wear. It says Lounge suit but I've never been in a lounge before. Nor worn a suit. So it's kind of scary. I just thought they'll ask us to borrow blazers and that would be it. And I'm going with Mel and Zuxin, so it's not like I can just ask another guy what he's wearing. Gahh....

The Tioman trip is coming along nicely; we got some nice agency people who can make the price go down from 200+ to 150 +. So it's not bad at all. Now if simply getting the people to confirm their slots would be just as easy... It's probably going to be held on the 23-26 of June, inclusive of both dates. So it's actually a 4D3N thing, taking into account the first and last days will be mostly travelling there and back. For 4 days, around 160 dollars, probably (and hopefully) inclusive of breakfast and dinner... I think it's really great.  I hope alot of people can make it though. I can understand if some have work, or are already on holidays. Some are just not interested, and that's fine I guess. Some can't afford it, some parents don't allow it, others may decide not to go because of other commitments or last minute changes to their schedule.

However, I think there's one ridiculous excuse not to go; "because I want to go out with my gf/bf". I think that's the stupidest excuse anyone can give for any event in general. I mean, how many times in your life can you just drop everything and take a holiday with friends? And how many years of your life will you be spending with that wife/husband or whatever? You going to be able to spend the rest of your life with that guy or girl, versus the few more years with your friends; well to me it's kind of clear cut who I should be spending time with right now. It's not wrong to want to spend time with anyone in particular; but I hate the fact that people become so obsessed or in love or whatever with one person they neglect everyone else and place them in second place. As friends, we're not going to have alot of time left together; as a girlfriend or boyfriend, you have a chance of spending the rest of your life together.

Anyways, after that lonnng part on irritating people...

I hope next week I can pass the stupid 2.4 for NAPFA. Retarded; I can get like As for everything but I'm gonna fail because of the 2.4. I can't believe it, it's so totally unfair. zzz.

Haizz. As far as things go, I've run out of excuses to make to put off doing my English any longer. Maybe I'll do 2 today, and the last one tomorrow. Whoo...

CANOEING ROCKS! WHOO

Yeahh! LOL. Damn fun today. And I barely ache at all. I guess everything will start coming tomorrow.

We went canoeing around the whole basin for like the whole afternoon. Was supposed to start at around 10, but it was raining. So sad la at first. Then miraculously, it stopped raining. And the sun came out. And birds started singing. So we went to canoe. YAY. Johno and me went to eat lunch first though. Chicken rice. Then he kope the cup from the chin chow auntie and later used it to bail water. Supposedly. In the end he only used it to splash water at me. Evil person. Then fill my boat with water slowly. And throw fish at me. Evil smelling fish. Damn ass... Poor dead fishy.

Tomorrow going to watch show I think. In the afternoon. Kinda weird cause I thought I would be busy on Wed but now I'm not, then Gel asked me to go watch movie oso. Lol.

Hopefully I don't get sick or something. I think I'm coming down with something le. I wanna canoe another day actually. Hahahas.

Back to blogging

Hmm... I haven't blogged in a long time, so I thought I'll take 15 minutes to type a short post. XD

Alot has happened in almost a month; it's the March holidays the whole of next week. Sometimes I can't believe school is going to end so soon; it's 1/4 of the way through already. The seniors came to talk to us about army on Thursday, and it scared me slightly. Like we won't know anybody at all in army, and the chances of even getting to be in the same unit as anyone else you know is so slim. And we won't ever see some people again; girls are going to Uni or even overseas, and it'll be so hard to meet up. It'll be like changing school all over again, and sometimes no matter what people say I can't shake the "badness" from it. I ca't believe it's actually happening.

Apart from that depressing thought, I got my 1-star! FINALLY RIGHT! It's like I'm totally not fated to get it, I tried for the course like a few times before this but all failed for some reason or another; whether it was me getting sick or having things which clashed and made me unable to go, it always seemed to try to purposely kill my chances. Then, even when they gave out my cert, they spelled my name wrongly. It's some kind of weird sign saying I shouldn't take 1-star qualification. When I canoe with CG and Johno on Tuesday I think I'll be extra careful. In case I drown or something like that. Or get swept out to sea. Or get banged by some boat. Hmm... Or eaten by a jellyfish. Or poisoned by a stonefish. Or get a cut on my foot in the sand and develop and infection and die painfully and slowly from it. Or get so burned by the sun that I get third degree burns, then slowly die from them too. Or when the doctor tries to do a skin graft, then some clip or IV line slips out then I die. Hmm.... I wonder how I'll die now.

Well, I'm currently aching quite badly, still sunburned from a week ago and somehow really tired even though I sleep early and wake late. I really won't be surprised if I have some sort of disease. Probably fatal disease. I hope I recover in time to go for canoeing. Thursday and Friday all got physical stuff, cause the timetable kena changed; Wed and Thur changed around.

On Monday we're going to help Mr Lim with the astronomy module; Tuesday and Thursday is canoeing, and I just found out that Friday there's Prom comm meeting. So my holidays are about burned. Hopefully I can find time for homework, if not I'll be rushing everything in the first week of school. Luckily I'm done with the Bio Assignment nonsense.

Which reminds me. I'll talk about it in my next post. It's kinda retarded really, hahas. Anyways, I think I'll go sleep now. Tired le.

Thoughts on my life

I wonder who reads this. Hmm.

I have decided I hate the 1-star course. I've been stressing out over when to take it (not really, it's just been bugging me), and who to find to take with me, because I'm so scared to take it myself that I can't bring myself to print out the damn form and call them up again.

I really hate this life sometimes. I wish I could just go off somewhere far away from people, with just like one or two of my friends and spend time with them. I've taken to sleeping the whole day today just to make the day go faster. And I'm going to do that for later tonight too. Immediately when I'm done with Lit, I'll just go to sleep. After packing everything for ODAC first, of course. Just thinking of PT made me groan. zzz.

Haizz. If I could I'll quit this school and travel around the world or something. Not for fun, but to find something I've lost. I'm so... weary of everything here. It's not boring, it's only tiring on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays or if I have a lot of work... but I think I've grown tired of what I'm doing all this time. It's not like I want to go to army sooner, or anything. But I want to just go away from all this nonsense and think things. Away from school and Astro and ODAC and everything.

Everything and everyone that used to make me look forward to coming to school is either gone, dead, or changed. So many teachers have gone, and they all seem to be the ones who are actually good. So many things about my CCAs have changed, and now that I've handed over Astro, it's like some midlife crisis thing; I have nothing to live for anymore. A few more weeks to help them clear up stuff, APs in a few months, a few more emails, 3 more terms of modules to get the stupid diploma... Then what? There's nothing left anymore. I don't even have an urge to get 1-star anymore, and that was something I have been looking forward to in such a long time. Next, what? 2-star? Hah, I've given up on that dream. As well as being an OBS instructor. I don't even know if I want to take the physio modules anymore.

It's like slowly, throughout the course of my time here, I've been drained of everyone and everything I loved. I used to be able to rattle of long lists of Astro facts and various topics; now I can't even remember most of the facts about subatomic particles. I used to aim for Gold in Napfa, and feel really happy when I got 26 points. Now I don't think I can even get a pass. My pull-ups have become terrible, I have to try so hard to get to a double digit number. I'm angry at myself for being phail in everything, and getting angry at myself for being always angry and depressed, and getting angry over things and people for the stupidest reasons. I can't stand ODAC because of the noise in the room, and I'm starting to hate the sound of laughing, talking people every time I go for it. Everyone else is busy with other things, or other people, and I can hardly get a word in edgewise sometimes.

I can hardly bother about the A level results; I wouldn't be surprised if I failed. I guess a lot of things just don't matter alot to me already.

Theo misses...

His Aaron. I wish we were still in hostel. I wish he didn't have Chinese. I wish he would be more free and have more time to play with me. D: Too bad none of those wishes will come true. Or when they do, it will be too late.

I wonder what Alain's doing in Australia. Suddenly I have this really strong desire to go back to Temasek to find people... Until I realised that even if I go back they won't be there anymore. I miss them a lot, and all the whiny lovesick songs on my playlist aren't helping either.

I can't believe I'm going to be 18 soon. Ben's already 18... Maybe I'll ask him to buy that Jolly Shandy thing for me. I wanna try it, but I think it'll taste sort of like mountain dew. Which now I have a craving for.

I wonder if Wenny can come with me to do my 1-star. I very scared to go myself.

I miss Sylvie too. All the random things in Lit class. Like doing those funny drawings for Ms Koh. And only she and Celine could draw... And how she'll get off the train at Cheenatown. Or at Outram la, cause she lives at Cheenatown.

I want to donate blood on my birthday. Johno says he's coming but I think he may forget. He forgot to fix my toaster for like... EVER. Poor toasty... At least now I'm very sure he can never start a fire in my room. He just won't stay on unless I'm pressing his toaster lever down, which means staring at him. So it's very safe. Maybe they should make all toasters like that. There won't be a single toaster fire next time.

I miss all the long days last time. When we came to school and there was the ring and we had so much fun, and we had an enemy (his/her name rhymes with "enemy"), and we slacked around, and a 2 hour break in the middle of our day was heaven, something coveted, and when we got it we were so happy and everything. When we would all wait for each other before making the great pilgrimage home, and Johno would get off the 196 bus, and we'll watch him walk off and never, ever, except once look back at the bus, and we'll all take up this huge area on the floor of the train and sit down, then stone until it was our stop.

I feel like I'm fighting demons floating around my head. My head feels heavy, I'm super tired yet sleeping does little to no help, I'm eternally depressed, from one thing to another. Life has made me sad. I won't be surprised if I find myself killing myself or something. *yawns*

I think I'll shower, and sleep now. It's getting kind of late, even though 96% of the people in my level will probably say otherwise.

IT'S LATE, PEOPLE! IT'S PAST 9! HOW IS THAT EARLY!? gah. *emos and falls asleep in tears*

Astro handover

It's weird being the only ODAC member who doesn't have 1-star. Hmm...

And it feels weird to have handed over Astro le. It's fine cause it's all finally over and we don't have to be hounded by people or bothered to plan sessions or stuff like that, but it feels kind of lonely. And it's so different. I think we need to have a session where all the old EXCO members go out to eat. We did that yesterday night at Subway, but we weren't full strength yet. Mao and Josh and Ewin and the Year 5s weren't there, so it was kind of a small group. But it was still fun.

Oh, I won 20 dollars of adidas vouchers. Great huh. Anyhow go eat eat, then got some scratch and win thing. Then who knew really kena "Congratulations! You have won $20 worth of adidas vouchers! Please redeem your prize immediately at the counter."

I didn't even know at first la. Scratched it off a little bit with my nails, then saw congratulations. Then I was like cheh. Must be coke. Or chips, or a free meal or something. Then turned out it was adidas vouchers when I borrowed a coin to scratch it off fully. So amazing. Then went to redeem la. Now got adidas vouchers for dunno what. I rarely buy anything from adidas anyways hahas. Too expensive. So get ready for an influx of adidas presents from me. LOL.

We went back to the school afterwards; went to settle EXCO stuff. I need to send the new positions and all to so many people later on, and type emails and stuff. But who cares, really... We're done, and that's all that matters, I guess. Even though it's a little sad and all.

There's so much homework to do! There's Lit which is due on Monday. And I need to start doing English as well; that woman wants 4 or so more essays on newspaper stuff. Very irritating to do. Then there's the presentation too. And the results of the Math test will come back. SUPER SCARY...

I need to take 1-star by myself now. And I thought that when I finally took it I'll have like so many people taking with me. It seems like every time I try to take it something crops up. Sick, nobody going, stupid plans changing... ZZZ

Hmm I forgot I need to come up with the final workplan. I think I'll just do like a rough draft. It's irritating to keep changing things around.

I remembered something! We saw a three-legged cat. I think it was born without the fourth leg, because there isn't a stump or something. It's just like a normal cat, but without a leg. Yeahh. Poor cat. We miaomiao at it then it loped over. And like stone at us. Then we had to go back to school le, cause Astro starting le.

I think it's really irritating when everyone around you has a girlfriend. Last time it was fun going to school. Now it's damn sian. Always people busy or what. Or want to go out with gf. Or spend whole day jalan jalan. Zzz. Now very boring to go school le. Only go lesson, then ODAC then Astro. In between is eat only. Haizz.